To Put The Bad Behind And Look Towrds The Good

So yesterday was one of the worst days that I’ve been through in a very long time. It was even worse than the day in January of 08 (Anyone that knows me. You know exactly what I'm talking about.) It was even worse than the day I spent just this last January. (Enoch and my Ex know exactly what I'm talking about here as well.)
I think it was worse for me because I struggled through this horrible day all by myself.

Now it’s not that I'm alone because I'm not. Its just that I felt alone and that's one of the worst feelings in the world. I have many friends and family that love and care for me, It’s just that yesterday it seemed that everyone was just unavailable. Work, school, other commitments and the like, completely understandable, yet still disheartening. So I did what I had to do and yes I made it through this horrible day to a bright, new, warm and inviting day.

I almost feel kind of silly because in the new light of day the things I struggled with yesterday seem so small and insignificant but I do have this horrible habit of making mountains out of molehills at times. Yet the problems I was facing yesterday didn't seem so much like molehills as they did the Andes.

But because I struggled up these mountains of issues by myself I am that much more stronger and much more capable because of it.

I had a nice long talk with Enoch about things yesterday and can I just say this man really is my best friend. He has this way of helping me get things put into perspective. When I told him some of what was going on with me yesterday the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm taking lunch in an hour, I'll be right over and well see what we can do." Now granted I didn't need him to come over but still that is just the kinda guy he is and I'm one lucky woman to have this incredible man in my life.

But sometimes on the downside he has this habit of trying to fix things that he just can’t fix. For as much as I truly love his opinion and all his help and for as much as I truly need him now and then he sometimes feels the need to try and fix my issues when they don't need fixing. Sometimes problems just need a little bit of time and patience to work themselves out and some problems I just need to take care of on my own. Sometimes all I need is an understanding ear and a comfortable shoulder to cry on. Which he always gives to me when I need it. And even with this need he has to fix things that he just can’t fix, I still love him for it and I'm so grateful to have him as my best Friend.




One of the major reasons I am in such a good mood today with a brighter outlook on my life is because of some incredible friends I have in my life right now, Enoch is one and truly the most important, He is the one I truly love and could give my heart too. But there is this friend I have who lives in Missouri my buddy Double D. I’ve gamed with him for more than six years now and he is like a brother to me. He will tell me like it is and pull no punches with me. He is also a Druidic Centennial and Gate Keeper for his order and a very gifted individual. He also has this very gifted ability to call or show up just at the right moment. So last night when things were getting hard for me, he called. The first word out of his mouth was "Who's fucking with you and what can I do to help?" Now that's a killer friend right there.

Yes someone has been fucking with me. Over the last week or so ever since Enoch came home I’ve been psychically attacked. Someone screaming at me in my sleep, draining me of all psychic power. This individual is also a dream walker and is appearing in my dreams and its making night time a very difficult thing for me. This individual is so very angry at me that they have now resorted to sending a great deal of negativity my way. (Hence the car wreck, the 40 some odd stitches in my head, the truck incident yesterday and issues with family and friends that just shouldn't be happening.)

So I digress, Double D was able to pick up on this yesterday. When things came to a crisis point was when DD came riding up in his shining armor on his white horse ready to kick some ass in my defense. (All I have to say is Rosalie is a very lucky woman to have him. They are so cute together.) We discussed who is doing this and what our best course of action and defense is going to be. It is such a lovely thing to have a Druidic Centennial as a friend. So I guess in other words, this individual who is seriously messing with my life and happiness right now will not be such a happy camper when Karma finally catches up with her.





After our conversation I sat and thought and meditated on a few things. With what Enoch had said and helped me with and the help and love I got from Double D I went to sleep last night with a renewed sense of purpose and a lifted spirit and higher hopes for the morning.

And it didn't let me down. I slept like a rock and when I woke up this morning the sky was blue and the sun was shining and the snow is melting and there is a warm breeze coming from the west. My spirits were lifted and I have felt the best I have in months.

So one last little thing to share is that Flogging Molly is one of my favorite bands (I'm way into Irish Punk) and as I was surfing through YouTube this afternoon and I came across this video and it pretty much tells how I'm feeling and what I need to do to keep things in perspective
Enjoy





drank away the rest of the day
wonder what my liver'd say
drink, thats all you can
blackened days with their bigger gales
blow in your parlor to discuss the day
listen, that's all you can

ah but don't, no don't sink the boat
that you built, you built to keep afloat

sick and tired of what to say
no one listens anyway
sing, that's all you can
ramblin' years of lousy luck
you miss the smell of burnin' turf
dream, that's all you can

ah but don't, no don't sink the boat
that you built, you built to keep afloat

singled out for who you are
it takes all types to judge a man
feel, that's all you can
filthy suits with bigot ears
hide behind their own worst fears
live, that's all you can
it's all you can
it's all you can...do

no matter where i put my head
i'll wake up feeling sound again
breathe, it's all you can
tomorrow smells of less decay
the flowers greet this bloomin' fray
be thankful, that's all you can

ah but don't, no don't sink the boat
that you built, you built to keep afloat


a ripe old age
that's what i am
a ripe old age
just doin' the best i can