For Time And Eternity

We have been together for age after age. Through the great eons of time we have always found each other in one form or another.

I believe that this phrase is known as Soul Mate

12 lifetimes ago we lived in in Wales. I watched as you were unjustly accused of a crime you did not commit. A crime that was committed by a woman in your life. She did not step forward and set things right and you were accused. I watched as a noble lady stood aside and did nothing to save your life though she knew of the truth and could of saved you. I stood in the crowd and watched you hanged and I could do nothing. You were my brother and I loved you. I wanted to save you from these horrible women who wanted to hurt you. I still want to save you.

In another lifetime, too far gone in ancient history to count the lifetimes past, we lived in a native culture, possibly Mayan or Incan. You were my bound mate and I loved you.
I had to sit by and watch you leave time after time to explore and to have adventures. There was nothing I could do but sit and await your return. Then there came a time that you did not return to me. You were gone and again, there was nothing I could do. I wanted to save you and keep you safe by my side at home. I still want to save you.

In one of my lives however I made the choice to sequester myself away from the hurt I've felt throughout the generations of loosing you. I dedicated my life to the Celtic Moon Goddess, Rhiannon.
I had made a solid contract to serve her as her High Priestess and take no man unto myself.
It appears to me that this contract is still valid in this life for I seem to be alone once more.

It is not my Karma to save you E. That is a job for you. It grieves me not being able to help you along your path and your discoveries. I watch as you surround yourself with women who can hurt you and do not truly love you. I watch as you try to explore who you are and start out on new grand adventures in a new life. I do not begrudge you your adventures or your new discoveries, In fact I encourage it. But it just seems that once again it I am destined to sit and watch and wait. The problem is that I am tired of watching and waiting.

It was no accident that when I created my petition to the Universe to find my soul mate that I have found you and that you have found me. Once again throughout time and eternity we have come into one another's lives.
I do not wish to have to wait for another life time to have you, To hold you and to tell you how much I truly love you.

For I Truly, Deeply and Madly love you.

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with the golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and half-light, I would spread the cloths under your feet But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams beneath your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams...

~William Butler Yeats

Sometime Around Midnight

For my AJ

Dead and Gone

From what I was to what I am now is a complete 360 turn around.

I use to weigh almost 300 lbs
I use to be so depressed I couldn't get out of bed in the morning
I was so dependant on my ex husband for my happiness I for got about everything else.

And then to add insult to injury my ex walked out on me on our 15 year anniversary
I lost it.

But then a light at the end of the tunnel
He was gone and I was free

I now wigh about 190 and I look fabulous
I learned I didn't need a husband to be happy, the happiness was inside the whole time
I learned I am dependable and I can depend on myself and not be dependant on anyone
I learned to like myself
I Like Myself

That is a phrase I haven't been able to say in along time
I am right where I need to be
I have a beautiful place to live
2 kids who love me and at times still need me
A good and stable job
A chance at a really good thing with a really great guy that I care so much about
I have let go of so much hate and that has freed up alot of space in my life
I have found my Patience

Ive travelled along way to get to where I'm at and yes, the old me is dead and gone.

The Peach

On a web site called OK Cupid I took this dating persona test and this is what they evaluated me as being....which is kinda funny, cause they got it right!



The Peach
Random Gentle Love Master

Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach.

For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you’re surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don’t get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it.

You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you’re becoming more selective about long-term love. It’s getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who’s in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him.

Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense.