Love Me Like Johnny Loved June

You are my best friend. 

I have never felt a connection to another person like I have with you. 

You're the one I've chosen. I'm the one you've chosen. 

We chose each other centuries upon centuries ago and we keep choosing each other over and over again. 

Yes, you fight against it at times. That's the soldier inside of you saying, It's my way and not God's way. 

I asked a mystic once why falling in love with you has been so hard. He smiled his mystical smile and stated "Because this is right!"

Being in love with you is one of the hardest things that I've ever been through. I continue and I stay patient "Because this is right!"

As I concentrate on why this is right and think about why you treat me the way you do sometimes (All the way from the good, the bad and to the indifferent), I think back to the times we've shared in the recent past and one night keeps coming back to me.

About 3 months ago we were having dinner together at The Oasis Cafe and having a nice talk. You were going through a really hard time in your life and was in need of a friend, some clarity and insight. As we sat and ate our dinner, you sighed, smiled and said that this was nice and how much you missed doing things like this with me.

As we spoke I was shocked to learn of some of the things that you were going through. I asked you why you never called me, that I was trying to give you an avenue of release, of a person to talk to, to let things out safely so you can feel better. Being the stubborn person you are you said that you didn't want to be a whiner. I told you that there were many times that I needed to call you, that I needed my friend. There were times I was feeling lonely or sad and just wanted to talk. There were times I wanted to share some exciting news or tell you about the weird thing that happened that day. There were times I just wanted to hear your voice and I told you that I felt like at times that I couldn't call you and that I never wanted you to feel that way. You looked shocked and a little sad about this. You took my hand and told me that I should never feel like I could never call to talk to you. I should never feel that I didn't have a friend in you.

During that same dinner you told me that you wanted to be the friend you would want to have. You offered me money. You said you wanted to help me. I told you I was grateful but I would rather you spend your time with me than your money on me. You wrapped your fingers through  my mine, smiled and said you understood.

One of the last things you said to me that night was, "Amy, don't wait for me. I know you are and you really shouldn't. I want you to promise me that you wont wait for me." All I could do was smile. I took your hand and told you that I can't promise you that. You looked at me with your most serious look and told me again. "Amy, promise you won't wait for me." I returned your serious look and told you again that I will not promise you that. You did something strange and beautiful and funny that reassured me that you got the answer you were looking for. You smiled, laughed, held my hand tighter and called me a nerd.

Over the last few months you've fallen back into a very old cycle.

You are compartmentalizing your life again. I know where this comes from. Your time in the military taught you to keep all the different parts of your life from interconnecting to each other. It's to keep you and those you love safe. From the outside looking in it makes you seem dishonest and secretive. I know you better than most. Most of the time I know you better than you know yourself. It's not that you are being dishonest its just that there are times you don't want to explain anything to anyone.

You said once that our thing was the talk. We talked about everything. We were open and honest about everything we said. Even if it was something either of us didn't want to hear at least we were being honest. Right now I'm tired. I feel like I can't call you just to talk. Its hard to share and to be open and honest when you wont pick up the phone, when you wont give me the full story, when you hide from me.  

When you get in this cycle you're in you end up missing the forest for the trees. You miss the fact that out of everyone I am the only woman who has not gone running for the hills when you get this way. You miss the fact that I have been the one in the background with all the healing, all the love and all the magick.  

One day at the end of June you called me out of the blue and said you knew something was wrong and that you were worried about me. I told you all about my troubles and you came right over. That day we spent an amazing afternoon together. That day you listened to your intuition and listened to your heart. That day you followed the right path. That day was a day we connected again on a higher level. That day you showed me just how comfortable you were around me and told me to let go of my insecurities and to feel comfortable around you as well. That day you feel asleep holding me close and holding my hand and wouldn't let go. That day you let go of your ego and touched your empathy towards a woman you cared about. That day you were fully yourself as you were meant to be.

Somewhere along the way you got stuck in your head and forgot all about your heart. Maybe you feel like you have nothing to offer. Maybe you feel that you will suffer a loss of freedom. Maybe you think I am going to ask to much of you. Maybe you have put an ex's face over mine and maybe because of that you get lost in the past and remember the hurt.

All I have ever asked for is honesty, openness and to get back the respect, importance and love that I have given you.

Please pull yourself out of your head and listen to your heart for a moment.

From the moment I met you I heard your song. I am the only one who can hear that song and it is beautiful. I never cared about money or things or what possessions you may have to offer. 

All I ever cared about is the song you sing that only I can hear.

Tá mé mise agus go bhfuil tú mianach.
Mbaineann muid le gach ceann eile.
Cruthaithe againn an grá i saol eile agus is é ár post chun é a fheiceáil tríd an saol.
Is é an t-am anseo, is é an t-am ceart agus is é an t-am anois.
Is breá liom tú le mo chroí go hiomlán.

"Sirens"
Hear the sirens.
Hear the sirens.
Hear the sirens,
Hear the circus so profound.
I hear the sirens
More and more in this here town
Let me catch my breath to breathe
And reach across the bed
Just to know we're safe
I am a grateful man
The slightest bit of light
And I can see you clear
Oh, have to take your hand
And feel your breath for fear this someday will be over
I pull you close, so much to lose knowing that nothing lasts forever
I didn't care before you were here.
I danced in laughter with the everafter
But all things change
Let this remain
Hear the sirens
Covering distance in the night.
The sound echoing closer.
Will they come for me next time?
For every choice, mistake I've made, it's not my plan
To send you in the arms of another man
And if you choose to stay I'll wait, I'll understand
Oh, it's a fragile thing
This life we lead
If I think too much I can get overwhelmed by the grace
By which we live our lives with death over our shoulders
Want you to know that should I go
I always loved you, held you high above, true.
I study your face, and the fear goes away.
It's a fragile thing, this life we lead.
If I think too much I can get overwhelmed by the grace
By which we live our lives with death over our shoulder
Want you to know that should I go,
I always loved you, held you high above, true.
I study your face, and the fear goes away

Ní dhéanfaidh aon ní ach Grá

 

Tá cónaí orm taobh istigh do barróg.
Ciallaíonn Do glacadh gach rud
Is breá liom fós tú agus riamh stop
Tá mé ró-scanraithe chun tú a insint do aghaidh mar sin mé in iúl duit anseo.
Is breá liom tú. 

Ná stop a bhfuil mo lámh
Do teas agus do mothú a dhéanamh, dar liom compordach agus grá
Mo Gods daor conas grá agam duit

Riamh Tá sé seo mothú stop
Ba mhaith liom é a fás
Ba mhaith liom tú
Gods a thabhairt dom neart grá agam duit 

My Weekend And How The Celtic Cross Explains It All

I had the best weekend.

It was full of Harry Potter, A trip to Roy and Chock full of Sleeping In and reading. Not to mention a certian amout of HIGH Dragon Energy comming from a certian someone.

The Energy I was reciving was amazing. I hadnt felt that kind of Energy from this particular individuale in alog time.

I pulled my cards and I did a reading concerning this energy bieng directed at me. Me and my curiosity. LOL

I did a celtic Cross spread. This is what it looks like.





1. The Basis:
The basis of the situation. The general tone of the reading and the problem for the querent.



The Hierophant
Tradition
What has worked before works equally well now. History holds many answers. Some rules simply cannot be broken. An adherence to tradition, old rules, the cycles of nature and the most fundamental truths.

2. Obstacles:
The challenges or obstacles that lie in the querent's path. This "crossover card" is always read in the upright position.



The Star
Hope
Faith brings unexpected assistance. Dreams should never be put aside and must always remain part of one's personal life-equation. Hope springs eternal as does the light of the star. Look far into the distance.

3. Subconscious:
How the querent truly feels about the matter. These are hidden thoughts, fears or emotions which may come into play now or at a later time.



Four of Cups
Mixed Emotions
A confusion of emotions and thoughts. That which was once clear has become sullied with too many outside forces. Something has gone off course. Remember what you want. Avoid temptation.

4. The Past:
The events in the recent past that influence or effect the querent's question. Possibly a person, an event or a previous psychological or spiritual state.



Nine of Pentcals
[ inverted meaning ]
A bad risk. What was ventured has now been lost. A waste of time or money. A message regarding damage and loss.

5. The Conscious:
The querent's surface feelings, or conscious thoughts on the subject. Compare with Position #3.



The World
[ inverted meaning ]
A false sense of completion. To "rest on one's laurels". Becoming lazy after a minor accomplishment. The road goes on, do not rest here.

6. The Future:
An event, state of mind, person or spiritual state that will occur in the future.



Four of Wands
Perfection
Visual beauty and perfect grace. Unions of perfect harmony and beautiful synergy. The pursuit of flawlessness. A good relationship.

7. The Querent:
This position gives insight into the current attitude of the querent and how they fit into the situation.



Eight of Pentacles
[ inverted meaning ]
Sloppiness. A task that has been completed without care. A failure to learn from the mistakes of the past. An oversight.

8. The Environment:
This position relates to the relative surroundings of the querent in this matter. Consider relationships including friends, family or professional associates.



Ten of Wands
[ inverted meaning ]
Difficult demands are met. Inhibitions are overcome. A time for personal liberation is at hand.

9. Hopes and Fears:
This position provides insight into the querent's outlook about resolutions and outcomes of the situation -- or who the querent hopes (or fears) will be involved.



Seven of Pentcals
[ inverted meaning ]
Diligence. An attention to detail at every level. A labour of love. A task which bears the mark of attention and perfectionism

10. Final Outcome:
This position gives a glimpse into the final outcome of the situation and how it will play out over time.



Temperance
Moderation
Moderation in all forms including spiritual, physical, intellectual and emotional. Walk the middle path. Balance and even-handedness.

What this all boils down to is, I was throught about alot over the weekend by this certian individual and the things that I have wanted and wished for could come to pass if I have paitents.


Good luck to you all and remeber, Brightest blessings.

A My Life Update

OMG, Its been way to long...and I mean WWWAAAYYY to long. (Bad blogger)
I have much to tell you all about what has been going on in my life. Happy beautiful things are going on.

As alot of my friends may have known, I started a new job the end of March. I never really talked about it alot because...I wont lie....It was the worst job in the world. You know it's the worst job when you wake up in the morning crying and trying to find any excuse not to be there even though you needed the money in the worst way. You know it's the worst job in the world when you find yourself getting up from your desk every half hour to go hide out in the bathroom...again...in tears. You know it's the worst job in the world when you sneak out 10 minutes early every day just to get the hell out of there not caring if you get in trouble or not.

Yes folks, I worked as a Phone Agent for CONVERGYS!!!!!

Never again. Never ever ever ever again in my whole life will I work for a company that treats you like cattle. A company where you are a number and not a name. A company who could care less about you as a human being and only look at you as a statistic. They paid me shit and the whole building looked and felt like a Dungeon. We were not allowed to have the blinds open on the windows for "Security" reasons..."CoughsBullshitCoughs" and the whole interior looked as if someone with the worst cold in the world sneezed all over the insides and no one cared enough to clean up afterword's. Gross I know.

I struggled for a long time to keep my spirits up and to keep going there day after day. I was becoming depressed again and I could feel the good warmness I was so use to feeling inside of me drain away quickly.

Anyone who knows me knows I have been a practicing witch for along time. I had been working Career and Job spells for months and months and the only thing that had come through for me was gross old Convergys. I began to doubt myself and my abilities to manifest good and wonderful things into my life. Depression truly set in at this time. I would be driving to work in tears hoping my car would vear off the road and hit the concrete barrier just so I wouldn't have to go to work that day.....NOT GOOD PEOPLE......NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!!!!!

One night around the middle of May I was sitting in my circle trying to do yet another New Job/Career Spell hoping that this one would work, when out of the blue my bestest Friend Jade called and said that she could feel me and knew something was up and wanted to know. (Jade is a very gifted Clairvoyant and always calls just at the right moment)

I immediately burst into tears I told her what I was trying to do. She laughed and told me not to stress anymore, she was going to help me. As I sat with my beautiful brown and green candle reciting the incantation, she walked me through an Quantum NLP process. (I will explain more in a later post about what QNLP is, for now, Just Google it and know it WORKS!!!)
Basically what we did that night is take the fear of not getting the job of my dreams out of me and we replaced it with good warm love from the Archangels. We made a list of exactly what I wanted a new job to be filled with only putting positive words and intent into my list.

I wanted to work in a small office environment where my contributions would be recognized and appreciated. Where they would pay me a fair wage for a fair days worth of work. A place where I could easily make Friends and be an important part of a team. Where the work load was easy and I would catch on quickly. A Job in which I wasn't expected to sell anything. A place that I could see myself staying for a very long time.

2 weeks later I received a phone call from a lovely woman by the name of Robin Hartman from a company I put in an application for almost 2 months earlier. Cogent Health Care. Hmmmm, Now where did I hear that name before, Oh Yeah......My Aunt Janet has worked for Cogent for almost 10 years and she told me back the first of April to get my Resume in to the HR department, that she thought they were hiring.

Robin asked if I was still interested in interviewing for a position for the Walgreens Pharmacy Help Desk Agent that a few positions opened up. I jumped on it and said YYYEEESSS. (Well, not quite that way, I was very professional and polite and did not scream yes in poor Robins ear, but Inside I was jumping for JOY!!!!)

3 days later I was sitting in Robins office with Resume in hand and dressed to kill. The interview went so well she had me come in for a second interview with the Department manager and Supervisor. again, Three days later I was once again sitting in an office in front of two very sweet ladies feeling very good about my chances. I went home that afternoon and thanked the Archangels Michael and Raphael for this incredible chance at a new beginning. I felt like I could do anything.
Robin did tell me I would have to wait about a week before a decision was made and that I would know then one way or the other. 7 days, 7 long long days I waited. I continued to go to work at Convergys, Hating every minute of it, yet Praising my Angels for the wonderful new chance they were giving me. I would sit in my grungy little cubical and envision myself sitting at Cogent in a nice big cubical living a good life and loving my job.

The 7'th day came and no phone call by noon. ( I stayed home from work that day just to take this phone call...LOL) I made a decision, If I didn't hear anything by 2 o'clock I would call Robin and get the verdict. 2 o'clock came and I couldn't stand it anymore, I picked up the phone and called Robin and she gave me the GREAT news. I was hired. thanking Robin profusely I hung up the phone and again, burst into tears. This time in complete joy and gratitude at the wonderful gift I had just been given. I gave thanks to my Angels for helping make this happen, I gave thanks to my Mother Goddess Bridget for standing by me and accepting my Magick, I gave thanks to my guides, My Grandmother Virgina, My ancestor Colin Campbell and I gave thanks to The Universe in General.

I started my new job on June 8'th and I have never looked back. And let me tell you all something.....It is just like Jade and I created in my Magickal circle that night in May. I work in a small office environment where my contributions are recognized and appreciated. I am paid a fair wage for a fair days worth of work. It is a place where I can easily make Friends and be an important part of a team. The work load is easy and I did catch on quickly. I don't have to sell anything. This really is a place that I can see myself staying for a very long time.
The long and short of it all is.....I am HAPPY!!!!!

Brightest Blessings to you all!!!!!