Questions

Have I been a good friend to you? 

Have I always treated you with kindness, love, understanding and respect?

Have I always shown you how much you mean to me and just how much I care about you?

Have I always followed through with my promises?

Have I always done the things I said I would do for you?

Have I always been honest and truthful with you?
Have I always accepted you just the way you are? Flaws, Faults and all?

Have I always done everything I could to make you feel wanted, loved and cared for?

If I have failed in any of these things I am sorry. 

With my whole heart I am sorry.

You are my best friend and I would do anything for you just so I knew you were happy. 

All I have ever wanted was to be respected in the same way I respect you.

"Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, Enwrought with the golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and half-light, I would spread the cloths under your feet But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams beneath your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams..."

 William Butler Yeats

I Hate You Amy

Yup, You heard that correctly.

I hate you Amy!!!!!

Now, don't misunderstand me, I don't hate myself. Not in the slightest. In fact I rather like myself these days. I'm not being big headed or conceded, I just really like the direction my life has taken me in and I'm enjoying the ride very much. Even the bumpy parts. Self Actualization and Contentment kinda rock!

What I am talking about is an event that happened to me last September. I know that was such a long time ago and I have actually been sitting on this little nugget until the right time.  I was told by my Friend, Guide and Patron, (The Great Grecian Goddess Hekate no less!!!!, Don't hate cause I run with a pretty hip crowd) that the time to address this situation is now.

The first part of September I was sitting at work when I checked my personal Email. (I work for such a cool company that they let me do that!!!!) when I noticed I received an email. This email wasn't titled but it came from a sender named "Hate You". I checked the email address and it came from an address of ihateyouamy@hotmail.com

Wow. That's alot of hate. I was floored, baffled  and highly confused. The email went something like this:

----------------------------------------------

From: hate you
To: cowchick803@yahoo.com
Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 11:16 AM
Subject:

There has been unfairness done to me 
I summon the elements 
I Invoke them 
I conjure them to do my bidding 
The four watchtowers shall lay their eyes and minds 
There shall be fear, guilt, and bad blood 
There shall be submission and no pity 
I point the 3 fold law against thee 
Against thee it shall be pointed 
 3 fold, a hundred fold is the cost for 
My anger and pain 
Thee shall be blinded 
By the fear 
Blinded by my pain 
Blinded by me 
Blinded by me 
CURSED BY ME

I've invoked Carmen, God of cursing prepare yourself

----------------------------------------------

Um Wow. I was being cursed.........Through Email. Hahahahahahahaha

I literally had no words

Until now

About a month ago I tried to respond back to the email address listed above but surprisingly enough *Cough, yeah right, Cough* the email is no longer active and my response was returned. 

Well, This is my forum and I have a pretty damned good idea who sent this to me and I know this individual follows my every move (Yeah they are that kinda people) So here is my response to you Ihateyouamy

----------------------------------------------

I know this was sent to me a long time ago. The time is now right to address this situation.

I just want to point out how much hateful energy it took to create an email address of ihateyouamy@hotmail.com. Even as a joke this was just mean and cruel. Not to me, but to yourself. I can never imagine using so much precious personal energy in the pursuit of hate. There are too many wonderful things in life to enjoy and to spend that all wonderful precious energy on other than hate.

If you are going to mess around in Witchcraft you need to know a little bit about the Law of Attraction. The feelings and energy we put out to the universe we receive back 3 fold. If you are putting so much hateful energy into anything you do you can expect to get that hateful energy back 3 times stronger. If you ever wonder why there are times your life seems like it’s gone down the toilet, Don't look to outside sources. Look within yourself. Look to your actions and your thoughts and feelings. Look at how you have treated other people that have come across your path. 
Look to yourself. 

This is the law of Karma.

I want you to know, I don't hate you. I don't even really know who you are (although I have a very very good idea.) In fact I bless you. I bless you with knowledge and love and safety and security and everything you deserve in this life. I bless you with the love and perfect energy of the Archangel Michael. I hope he can guide you and protect you in the way you need. I pray to the Goddess Brighd on your behalf that you may find the light and fire within to heal and grow and be the person you were always meant to be. But if this happens again please know I will protect myself in the best way I know how. I will protect myself through the dark Goddess Hekate.

Please know that this spell never affected me in any way but I can tell it affected you. I hope this was a good lesson in Karma and not to be messing around in things that you know nothing about

I wish you well and offer to you the brightest blessings

Amy

----------------------------------------------

That was my original email to this person. I would like to add a few last things. I sent this off about a month ago and found out a few hours after that it came back to me as undeliverable.  I have since been able to find out a bit more (Well, more than just a bit) about the person who sent this hate. I am 99.9999999% sure of the person who sent it. 

I will not name any names here just for feelings sake. But, I will tell you this. All of your issues and problems that you have been going through over the last little while I know that you have pinned them on me. You did this without thinking or without proof. You did this out of blind jealousy. I did not create your problems. You did. The universe hears our words and takes our feelings and will give them all right back to us. 

Example: The man who sits and worries and states over and over again, "I hope I don't get cancer I hope I don't get cancer." Do you know what The Universe just heard?.....GET CANCER. So that is what The Universe gives him

Example #2: The man who sits and ponders and states, "I am so grateful for my health and my good fortune and all the good things I have in my life." The Universe has just heard.....GRATEFUL FOR HEALTH WEALTH FORTUNE AND GOOD THINGS. That is exactly what The Universe gives him. 

The more that we are thankful for the good things in our lives the more The Universe will give those things to back to us.  The more we fill our lives with hate, anger and jealousy we find that there is no room left for the good things that we want and need in our lives. We find that we have filled our minds and our hearts with garbage because that is the energy we have put out to The Universe and that the the energy The Universe has given back in return. The only Magick I have ever preformed concerning you was too protect myself from your hateful bile and poisonous energy. All I wanted was to be left peacefully alone but you couldn't let that happen. I did not give you this garbage, this garbage is all of your own making. Maybe it's time for you to start taking out the trash. You have alot of house cleaning to do. Better get started before it's too late and you loose more than you already have lost. 

I once again wish for you peace, joy, love and happiness. I hope you can turn things around before it is too late. Learn from your mistakes and move onward and upwards.

I wish for you nothing but the brightest blessings.

I'm Fabulous

Hello Blogger Land.

So sorry I haven't been around much to fill you up with my Head Fluff this last month or so but things do tend to get a bit busy from time to time. You know how it goes.

Lately I have been feeling alot of weird nasty energy around me and this is unusual for me. I am pretty good at keeping this kind of Junior High Bullshit at bay and out of my bubble. You know the type....A lot of whispering and back talking and nit picking and small pointy jabbing when they think I am not looking or listening. What they don't realize is....I'm always looking and I'm always listening.

At first it hurt. Yes I do have tender feelings, I am a Leo after all, and as I sat here contemplating the why's and wherefore's of the situation a phrase my mother use to say to me came floating into my head...."You got a case of the LBBB'S" (Little Bitty Bitey Bastard's or in my case Bitches!)

Why yes mother, I am covered in LBBB's. Everywhere I turn these last few days I am running into Bitches biting and poking at me behind my back. For the longest time I couldn't understand Why? I am friendly, I am open and honest and very Loyal....then it hit me.....

That Green Eyed Monster thingy...you know....It's called Jealousy.
LBBB's are jealous just for the simple fact that I am utterly and truly FABULOUS!!!!!! Big head.....Not so much, I question myself everyday about who I am and what I am doing with my life. Always questioning that I am making the right decisions for me and my children. I am always wondering what others think of me and how they react to me. Questions Questions Questions.

I am not so fabulous that I am immune to issues in my life. I have had my share of troubles come up in my life and yes, Some of these troubles are worse than others and alot harder to deal with than most people can handle.

However, It's how I deal with all these Questions and Doubts, It is how I deal with my issues and troubles that makes me truly fabulous.

I stay true to ME!!!!! I love who I am, I love what I do and how I do it. I love my knowledge, My quirkiness, my unending energy and my unyielding power to love with my entire being. I bow down to no one and I wont change my attitude or way of self being to suit someon's ideas of who I should be. I am here on this Earth to make the most out of this life I have. I am here for ME!!!!!!

Yes I question myself everyday, But I am also fortunate enough to get answers to my questions, and the answers I get tell me I am on the right path doing the right thing and to let no one AND I mean NO ONE get in my way on my path to true happiness.

I look at the troubles and issues that have been laid at my feet and yes at times they can be tiring and spirit breaking, yet, I cannot and will not let them break me. I look at these challenges as just that...Challenges. Learning Opportunity, A chance to grow and become better than I had been a minute before, a day before, a week before a year before, a lifetime before.

It is this attitude that has helped me to succeed at anything I put my mind to and its that success that make these LBBB's jealous and bitey stabby poky pains in my ass. But its OK, Its just another challenge to help make me a better person with more love in my heart and more patience to deal with these tiny beings who cannot get past there own self doubts and there own questions and challenges. This is helping me to understand why Individuals like this cannot look at the truth of there own lives and do what they need to do to make themselves the best individuals they can be. In a way, I feel sorry for these people who participate in these types of Junior High Antics. There is no chance for them to learn and grow and that is heart breaking.

An old saying comes to mind...."When you assume you make an Ass out of you and me"

And lastly, A snippitt I read on Facebook sums this whole Blog post up nicely.

"Do not worry about people talking "behind your back", it just means that you are one step ahead of them and they are exactly in the right position to bend over and kiss your ass!"

So get out of my way Bitches, I'm Fabulous!!!!!!